I admit I resort to scrolling through Facebook sometimes, usually to avoid doing something important like sleep… But I do like it when I come across a gem like this. Whether we like it or not, being an unpaid or family carer requires us to be so organised its sometimes painful, often exhausting and it can strip your life of spontaneity. The to do list becomes an integral part of our lives, but unlike other people’s to do lists or bucket lists, ours rarely is about us…
So, I challenge myself, and you if you feel like it, to start writing a stop doing list. I won’t give examples because everyone’s list is unique, but I will share one thing I have suggested to people in the past (I worked in schools for 20years and spoke with many parents with children with additional needs who were stressed and on their knees). Don’t work as an unpaid carer all week, have a day off, have annual leave. Obviously having time off from the actual caring part isn’t always that easy and cannot always be planned (although remember you may be entitled by law to breaks). What I mean is that the bureaucracy of being an unpaid carer can be as stressful and debilitating as any high-pressured full-time job. Tell social workers, services, whoever, that you have a day off and not to call or expect correspondence on that day; unless there’s an emergency of course. Make sure you don’t do paperwork, pay invoices, any of that on that day. Book your annual leave, give yourself relief and rest from the admin.
Paula – Team ECN, family carer
